Notionet

I once watched a documentary called chasing the sun. Its about how busy life has made us and what is even more interesting is how we don’t realise it. It has become a part of our lives, a new but acceptable madness because everyone is sick with it.

The system has created a kind of lifestyle around us that has turned into a societal standard that we must all conform to and when we don’t, we feel incomplete. We want that job, that house, that kind of a family, a certain number of friends,a certain mode of dressing, a holiday at the end of every year and so on, all because we want to feel ideal.

This kind of lifestyle might look appealing on one side but on the other side, its exhausting, exploitive and to some extent meaningless. With all this happening, how do we find our place and fit in without losing ourselves? Also, how do we build confidence to go on with our lives without feeling excluded? Here are some tips.

1. Remember the most valuable things are free

A piece of art can cost millions but once you have it hanged on the wall of your house, it will not keep you from starving when you don’t have food put on the table. We can do without most expensive things but we cant do without affordable/free things like water, air, food, health and good relationships.

If you already have the most important things in life , you are already successful and you have a reason to feel complete. Happiness and contentment are free. You don’t have to base them on achievements. Just go ahead and embrace the feeling!

2. Don’t forget to ask yourself why

To want a better life is not bad. Its human to want to drive a super car, live in a mansion and be the CEO behind that big company. We want to live our lives in the first lane, but why do we want it so much, even to the point of getting depressed when we can’t have it.
A fact is we don’t need most of it. No matter how many pairs of shoes one has, he/she can only wear one at a time. Actually I can help you with that. We want to feel contented. To fill the emptiness in our hearts. Which is impossible with this kind of lifestyle because it takes as away from us the most satisfying things in life. Family, friendship, happiness and well being as a whole.

2. Treasure what you have

Where you are now is not a situation, it’s a station. Life brought you there with a reason. There is no need to fuss, to blame others or yourself. Once your task is done in that station, life will take you to another one.

Another helpful thing you can learn is to value what you have first before looking for what you don’t have. Investing your money in a business is a good idea but its better if you think of your health and other basic necessities first. After all this are the things you will be using for the rest of your life.

If its a job do it well, if its a relationship keep it, if its money use it well. If you cherish what you have today, its what will help you get what you don’t have tomorrow.

3. Build confidence

You need to dwell on the confidence that What you have is what you need. Its also what you should be comfortable to offer. If its your skill level for example, you can be confident that its enough to give you a job. Its also a way to conquer the imposter syndrome.

4. Reduce your expectations of a perfect life

Perfection is two sided. The part that you play, and the part that others play. You can play your part well, which is the best by the way, but the other side might not do the same. They might not see your effort, appreciate your skills or accept your expertise but this should not make you doubt yourself.

How much complete or enough you are should not be determined by societal standards. Sometimes societal standards can be unrealistic, too demanding and unreasonable

So, the next time you feel like you are not enough because you are broke, jobless, sick, single or just unhappy with your life, remember that all of it is psychological. Its you who has the ability to decide how contented and confidence you will be with your life.